This is not a good feeling or a good place to be. I've been there before and I HATE it. People often ask me how I do "it all" but I imagine they are thinking WHY do I do it in the first place? I used to work out to lose weight and for that reason alone. My only goal for working out was to lose weight and look good in a bikini. In my opinion, I don't look good in a bikini and I'm semi ok with that; I wear one anyway. George took about 70 shots (on continuous sport mode) of me this summer in my bathing suit. The first 5 are me putting up my hand and saying stop, the next 5 are me giving him the bird (true story) and then I decided to have a little fun. This was the last picture he took; I was embracing my inner body builder.
|Don't judge this picture, if you know me IRL you know this was not an easy picture to post|
I didn't post this picture to elicit anything from anybody. I don't want anyone to tell me I DO look good or that I look good for having three kids (I loathe hearing that anyway). I posted the picture to prove to MYSELF that I can be proud of my body because of what it is capable of NOT the way it looks.
My point is, I know, in my mind, no matter if I'm 110 or 210 lbs I'll never be 100% satisfied with what I see in the mirror. So I quit working out to lose weight. I quit worrying (so much) about what I look like in a bathing suit and started working out for my mental health, my sanity. I know, and George can vouch, that my working out puts me in a better mental state. I'm happy, I have more energy, and I feel less fat (even if I'm not losing weight). I focus my workouts on what I'm doing to make my body healthy and for my mind. I focus on training for the next "big" thing to see how far I can push myself; to see what my body can do.
You only get one body, one lifetime, but you do get 10 chances a day, 100 chances a week and so on to make a healthier you. Don't do it for the bikini. Do it for your mind, your heart, and a better/healthier you. Plus then there will be GUILT FREE COOKIES and who doesn't love that!!!!!!!!!!!