Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Guilt Free Cookies

Here on Mom Swim Bike Run we (and by we I mean me) are having a hard time coming up with content.  After all, I'm only participating in 25% of the things that make up the name of my blog.  No swimming, no biking and no running.  Honestly I'm barely a mom these days either.  Not working out I feel fat, lazy, lethargic and fat.  Did I say fat?  I am constantly calculating the number of calories that I've consumed in cookies versus the number of calories I haven't burned (cookies win). 

This is not a good feeling or a good place to be.  I've been there before and I HATE it.  People often ask me how I do "it all" but I imagine they are thinking WHY do I do it in the first place?  I used to work out to lose weight and for that reason alone.  My only goal for working out was to lose weight and look good in a bikini.  In my opinion, I don't look good in a bikini and I'm semi ok with that; I wear one anyway.  George took about 70 shots (on continuous sport mode) of me this summer in my bathing suit.  The first 5 are me putting up my hand and saying stop, the next 5 are me giving him the bird (true story) and then I decided to have a little fun.  This was the last picture he took; I was embracing my inner body builder. 

Don't judge this picture, if you know me IRL you know this was not an easy picture to post

I didn't post this picture to elicit anything from anybody.  I don't want anyone to tell me I DO look good or that I look good for having three kids (I loathe hearing that anyway).  I posted the picture to prove to MYSELF that I can be proud of my body because of what it is capable of NOT the way it looks. 

My point is, I know, in my mind, no matter if I'm 110 or 210 lbs I'll never be 100% satisfied with what I see in the mirror.  So I quit working out to lose weight.  I quit worrying (so much) about what I look like in a bathing suit and started working out for my mental health, my sanity.  I know, and George can vouch, that my working out puts me in a better mental state.  I'm happy, I have more energy, and I feel less fat (even if I'm not losing weight).  I focus my workouts on what I'm doing to make my body healthy and for my mind.  I focus on training for the next "big" thing to see how far I can push myself; to see what my body can do. 

You only get one body, one lifetime, but you do get 10 chances a day, 100 chances a week and so on to make a healthier you.  Don't do it for the bikini.  Do it for your mind, your heart, and a better/healthier you.  Plus then there will be GUILT FREE COOKIES and who doesn't love that!!!!!!!!!!!


beachgooloo said...

<3 u, great post!

Anonymous said...

Too bad you couldn't inspire me 50 some years ago! GREAT POST! xoxo G.

Tracey said...

Very well said, Susan. And great looking cookies by the way! (and you do look great in that suit- last time I had on a bikini I was about 10!) You are an inspiration for all moms.

Shannon said...

I've been feeling "fat" here lately and that's all because I haven't been running. It's too cold for me - I'm a wuss. For Christmas, I've asked for cold running gear and so I'm hoping that will kick my butt out the door. But also, I just ordered an indoor trainer for my road bike! It arrives Friday and I can't wait to use it! I'm like you, I just don't feel right unless I'm getting some type of work out in!

Juliette said...

I love this and I feel the exact same way and do the same things. It helps to read what feels incredibly personal, and not feel so alone. Thank you for that.

Ronald said...

mmmmmm i like cookies!

Ronald said...

mmmmmm i like cookies!

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