Friday, July 15, 2011

No Place Like Home

As our vacation is coming to a close, I can’t help but feel a little torn.  George’s dad asked me if I am ready to go home and I didn’t know how to answer.  Am I ready to go home?  Where is home really? 

The truth is, Texas doesn’t really feel like home to me.  From the moment I arrived in Pittsburgh for this vacation, I felt a sense of belonging.  I’m able to look around and know just where I am without a GPS or reading road signs.  I see places and I remember parts of my childhood.  I visit a ball park and I feel proud to be part of the city.  Pittsburgh is just something that is inside me. 

So how is it that I can be in love with a city where I have no place to lay my head at night (that is my own)?  I have so many ties to the city, but I no longer have a “right” to claim it as my own. 

The truth is, everyone’s life goes on without me.  Sometimes I feel so alone in Texas and it’s hard for me to think of others missing me the way I miss them.  I miss so many aspects of my “perfect” life in Pittsburgh and wonder what piece of the puzzle is missing in Texas.

I have met so many wonderful people in Texas.  I have a handful of close friends and have formed some strong bonds with them.  I don’t mean to discredit the relationships I’ve established in Texas.  I value each and every one of them VERY much.  In fact, if it weren’t for my friends I’d probably be crying and want to move home every day. 

This week just made me realize how much I really do miss Pittsburgh and everything that goes along with it.  It’s almost like it’s too hard to come home and visit.  It feels like it would just be easier to stay in Texas and not realize all that I’m missing. 

Ok, ok so don’t go feeling all sorry for me because I have a pretty great life.  I have a husband that loves me and three beautiful children.  I live in a place where the sun shines almost every day.   I can do a race on a whim and don’t have to train in freezing temperatures.  We have awesome Mexican and o-em-gee the ribs and brisket… don’t even get me started.  I know Texas is a great place to live and I truly do love it. 

So yes, I do love Pittsburgh, it will always feel like "home".  I'll never feel completely right living 1200 miles away from my mom.  I'll never stop missing the feeling the city has during football season when everyone is adorned in black and gold.  I'll even miss hearing the Pittsburghese. 

The bottom line is, I know home is where the heart is and my heart is my family.   I don't need familiar surroundings, Pirmanti's sandwhiches or superior professional sports teams (hee hee) to call a city home.  I just need a place where I wake up next to my family.  A place to watch my children grown, learn and thrive.  A place where people love and accept me and take me in as their own.  So yes, I am ready to go to Texas.  I'm ready to go HOME. 


Tyly @ One Mile at a Time said...

Yes, FAR superior sports teams, even though I think James Harrison needs to quit rambling already. Anywho... as a Steelers fan, should I know what Pittsburghese is? Never heard of it...

momswimbikerun said...

haha Tyly Pittsburghese is a "language" spoken in Pittsburgh. Some people
say yinz (like y'all in TX), or say gum band for rubber band... all kinds of
things. You can still be a steeler fan b/c I don't speak Pittsburghese
myself. lol

G. said...

Yep, home is where YOUR immediate family is. Make is yours and love it. We miss you, but are happy for you! Love you!

Tri4Success said...

Superior sports teams? Weren't the Pirates dead last in 2010? (See how I just poked you with a sharp stick?) BTW, if you haven't figured it out yet, Texas is about high school and college sports. Pay attention the next summer olympics and watch how many of the world's best in track, swimming, etc. reside in Texas (and it's not just Team USA).

Ronald Obringer said...

You can take the girl out of Pittsburgh, but you can never remove the Pittsburgh from the girl. Glad you enjoyed your time time you are in town though.. we will have to plan ahead so you can me noah and maybe run a race with Christine and me!....Ps...looking into a road bike now so that I can start training for a tri!!

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