Thursday, March 31, 2011

Done

Today I’ve come to the realization that my baby isn’t a baby anymore.  I guess it was brought on by Jack (now 3 1/2 years old) stopping thumb sucking.  Although I knew Jack should probably stop, and even attempted to get him to stop, I secretly kind of liked that he did.  It made him my baby.  It gave me something to hang on to from the “baby” years.

mom and jtt

I’ve struggled in the past with wanting more babies so every now and again, I remind myself how I’ve arrived at the place of “being done”. 

After the birth of Nicholas and then Ella, George and I decided we were finished having kids.  I went back on birth control pills for the first time in 4 years, but we never did anything “permanent” to make sure we didn’t have any more children.

Everyone said we had the perfect life, the perfect family— one boy, one girl.  I agreed we had a pretty special family, but something inside me wanted more.  I couldn’t stop the feeling of wanting to have more children, to give and receive more love, to hold a baby that was my own.  It wasn’t a feeling that I could just push aside.  It was a strong, deep desire that called me and one I wasn’t willing to quiet. 

EET and WNT kissing 

There were conversations, there were probably tears and there was no way to compromise.  You can’t negotiate about having a baby.  You’re either in or you’re not.  I was in, George wasn’t. 

Well, we all know how the story ends.  I did “negotiate” and Jack Thomas was born September 5, 2007 to two VERY happy parents.  He’s filled our life with love and laughter.  I definitely view his birth, as I do all my children’s births, as a precious gift. 

jttbaby

There was only one problem—the feeling of wanting more never went away.  I still have moments where I see a baby and it melts my heart.  It takes me back to 3:00 in the morning during a feeding when you’re tired and cranky, but you still feel love.  A love so strong you would die for it. 

I’m willing to suppress the feeling I have because I realize a mother’s love has no bounds—no limits.  I could probably have 25 children and still feel the desire to give and receive more love.  I’m fine with knowing I’m capable of loving more, but I’m delighted with MY “perfect” life. 

fam

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Just Dance

Life’s a dance you learn as you go.  Sometimes you lead sometimes you follow. 

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No matter the case, sometimes you’ve just got to dance like nobody’s looking. 

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At times, things will be hard, you’ll feel foolish or unsure.  Always stop to think, you could have missed the pain, but then you would have to miss the dance.

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So, when you get the choice, to sit it out or dance… I hope you dance! 

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Half Marathon Hangover

Today I woke up still feeling the effects of the half marathon—a half marathon hangover, if you will.  As I got the kids off to school I dreamed of my moment alone, sipping coffee and laughing at Ellen.  Not soon after Ellen was over, the guilt started to set in.  My inner voice starting whispering in my ear to get out there and do something.  I ignored it.  The whispers soon turned into a clear voice.  The voice was telling me that I was using the half marathon as an excuse to not do anything.  The truth is, I would feel better if I got out there and did something.  Damn Thank you voice in my head!  I laced up my shoes and I went.

running feet

3 Mile Run

  • Mile 1:  10:23
  • Mile 2:  10:35
  • Mile3:  9:51

Total: 30:50:05

Average:  10:16

I felt really good in the beginning, but my pace quickly faded over the first mile.  I could definitely feel it in my hamstrings.  My mind knew I should just slow my pace and do a nice EASY recovery run, but my heart kept telling me to push.  I wanted to prove to myself that I can make my body do what I want it to do.  I wanted to prove that even if you want to sit on the couch watching Real Housewives of Miami, you can get out there and do something productive. 

Once I hit the turn around point (1.5 miles) I ran without looking at my pace.  I was basking in my accomplishment of getting off the couch.  In some ways, days like today are more satisfying than a big race.  Days like today remind me that it’s good to get hot, red and sweaty.  It doesn’t matter how you get there, but the way you feel once you’ve arrived.  

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Here are a few of my official race photos from Rock N Roll. 

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Monday, March 28, 2011

Free of Charge Delight

What’s the difference between a half marathon and a full marathon?  Well 13.1 miles of course, but beyond that, what’s the difference?  Well, the way you feel afterward.  I am definitely sore today after the Rock N Roll half marathon (recap here), but I am able to actually contemplate running again.  After the marathon, I couldn’t even think about running without getting nauseated.  I understand now why people say they’d rather stick to the half marathon distance.  It’s just so much easier on your mind and body all around.  I wonder if you actually ever get to a place where marathons are easy.  At least I was happy in the end. 

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I got out all my medals today because I wanted to feel like Mr. T compare them all.

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I think I’m finally collecting enough that I might need some sort of fancy schmancy display rack thingy-ma-bob.  The one I have currently (my neck) probably won’t work much longer.  Plus it’s a little ME ME ME isn’t it?  Kind of like this blog… who said that?  I’ll find you! 

Bling 001

note to self:  sans make-up = not good!

The Rock N Roll marathon medal that I dissed yesterday actually wasn’t as bad as I thought.  Tri4Success let me know the medal was of the Texas Star Ferris Wheel.  I feel a little bit better about the medal now because it has some significance, but I still think it should have had a rock n roll ribbon at least. 

source

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Dear Rock N Roll Marathon People:

Since y’all put on such a fine race, your medals should reflect the same quality.  Please consider a rock n roll themed ribbon and then a city specific medal.  This will be more appealing to mediocre running moms across the world.  Please feel free to consult me for any other race matters that might be up for rating and review.  

Sincerely,

MomSwimBikeRun 

One really cool thing I did LOVE about the medal was the back side.  The back side included the date and a little spot to fill in your time.

bling 007

I’m sure you’re supposed to do something uber cool like etch the time, but I ain’t got time for Things Remembered so I used a sharpie.  I think it’s a nice way to remember all of my times, you know in case something happens to the internets. 

bling 008

That’s all of the post-race day wisdom I have for the day.  Tune in tomorrow for more I-can’t-believe-this-is-free-of-charge delight! 

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Rock N Roll Dallas Half Marathon Recap

Another one in the books!  Today I completed my fourth half marathon since my first in November of 2009.  It felt good to get some more bling.  Why do we love the medals so?  Is it just me?  No.  Good!

bling

Once again, however, Rock N Roll disappoints.  To no fault of their own I suppose.  I just expected a cool Rock-N-Rollish medal.  You know, shaped like a guitar or something. Oh well. 

Julie and I made plans to meet at the convention center (start line) at 6:30 a.m.  When I “rolled” up on the convention center, the first thing out of my mouth was, “Why is there nobody here?”  I kept saying it over and over again.  FINALLY, at 6:43, it occurred to me the race didn’t start until 8:00 a.m. not 7:00 a.m.  Now I probably should have checked the start time myself, but needless to say Julie will NOT be trusted with start times again.  Sorry Jule!  Love ya! Oh well, at least we got a couple cool pics.

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It was pretty cold outside this morning (not even 50 degrees).  Considering yesterday it was almost 90, it seemed REALLY cold.  Luckily I had brought a throw away sweatshirt.  Why do I have these things in my closet in the first place?  One Banana Republic cira 1995 sweatshirt now belongs to a new home.  My work here is done. 

After our start time mishap, Julie and I decided to head back to my hotel (the closer of the two) and use the restroom and take advantage of the free breakfast.  It didn’t take long to pass the hour and we headed back to our corals. 

I really wasn’t at all nervous to run this race.  I knew I had it in me to finish, but I didn’t know how hard/easy it would be or what kind of time I was going to achieve.  I knew a personal record was out of my reach so I hoped to finish in under 2:17:22 (the time of my very first half marathon).  I also hoped the time would go by quickly and it would be pain free (no such luck). 

I can’t tell you much about the race.  It was pretty uneventful.  I tossed my sweatshirt before the start line and I was wearing just a tank top.  I was pretty chilly for the first two miles.  My body definitely needed some warming up, including my ankles.  Even after I had warmed up, my legs felt like lead.  They were just downright tired legs.  I’m sure it didn’t help that I spent all day Friday on my feet working the Spring Carnival.  No matter the reason, I wasn’t feeling it. 

I took a Honey Stinger at mile 5 and I think it messed with my belly.  I really felt like I could throw up at any moment.  The feeling was pretty consistent for 2 miles or so and then came and went through mile 10.  Obviously it was nothing I couldn’t handle, but it was truly annoying.  By mile 10, I was just done.  Like I–want-this-to-be-over-now done.  My hips were really hurting and my legs just felt tired.  I know I keep saying that, but really my legs just felt like they didn’t want to move. 

Despite my not feeling very well, the course was pretty beautiful.  The course went through Highland Park, which is basically a multi-million dollar community of older, gorgeous homes.  It seemed like something out of a movie.  I loved the neighborhood feel of the race, but as an out-of-towner I would have preferred to see more of the city.  Overall, it was a great course.  There were some long gentle grades, but I’d call this a fast/flat course. 

I was getting really close to the end so, I was looking for adrenaline to kick in.  I hit a water station just before mile 11 and got cut off while grabbing my Cytomax.  I had to stop to pick up my drink, which I never do.  I walked that water station.  I have NEVER walked during a race before and was feeling defeated.  Something inside me told me it was the right thing to do.  I walked and drank the Ctyomax and then drank a cup of water too.  As soon as I finished drinking I started running again.  I think I made the right decision. 

Here is where my internal dialogue began.  I had set a mini goal for myself (finish in less than 2:17:22) and that goal was still attainable.  Yes it was going to be hard, but if I pushed myself I could do it.  I pushed basically as hard as I could.  I maintained a pretty quick pace (for me) until the end of the race.  I was really giving it every thing I had to finish in 2:17 or under.  At this point, literally every second counted.  I rounded the last corner and saw the clock counting 2:26 (I knew I crossed the mat 10 minutes behind the clock start).  Doing the calculations in my head, my run time was creeping up to that 2:17 mark.  I sprinted… I peed….

Rock N Roll Dallas Half Marathon 002

I crossed that finish line at an 8:04 pace with a finishing time of 2:17:12. 

rock n roll dallas

Mile 1:  10:07

Mile 2:  10:38

Mile 3:  9:57

Mile 4:  10:10

Mile 5:  10:34 -----> Honey Stinger

Mile 6:  10:34

Mile 7:  10:48

Mile 8:  10:34

Mile 9:  10:26

Mile 10:  10:36 -----> Gu

Mile 11:  11:02 (walked water station)

Mile 12:  9:57

Mile 13: 9:43

Mile 13.25:  8:06

Total:  2:17:12

Average:  10:21

This wasn’t my fastest race, or my smartest (I was NOT consistent), but I’m still proud of setting a goal, attaining it and completing another race.  My new PR is out there, it just might be a little further down the road. 

Rock N Roll Dallas Half Marathon 008

Congratulations to Julie for setting her own PR (beating her Austin half time by 8 minutes).  So proud of you Julie! 

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Rock N Roll Dallas Preview

I can’t believe 5 weeks have past since I ran my first marathon.  It seems like just yesterday.  Don’t worry, the feeling of the pain (both mental and physical) is beginning to fade.  You know what that means right?  Run another race.  And so it begins…. Rock N Roll Dallas 1/2 Marathon!

We woke up this morning bright and early after the late night at the Spring Carnival yesterday.  Everyone was less than thrilled to get moving.  I hadn’t packed a single thing up until this morning, but we still made it out the door on time. 

My friend Julie is also running so we followed her and her husband up to Dallas.  It took us just about 3 hours to get to Dallas, not including the stops.  It wasn’t a bad trip and one I’m likely to do again (if I like the course). 

mike driving

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The expo was fairly crowded by the time we got there, but I was able to walk right up to my designated pick up area and retrieve my bib without a wait. 

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I think I was a little ambitious when I put my estimated finishing time because I’m in coral 6.  That’s a 2:00 to 2:10 finish.  Even though my best time is in that range, it’s not going to happen tomorrow and I’m ok with that.

We all walked around the expo checking out what they had to offer.   I needed some socks and wanted some Sweaty Bands and picked up both.  There were some cute little games to play with small prizes (t-shirts, bandanas, ear buds) that you could win.  Of course there were plenty of photo opportunities. 

Some with Elvis: 

elvis eetelvis jtt eetelvis jttelvis wnt2

Some with former contestants on The Biggest Loser:

biggest loser

Some with our projected finishing time Winking smile

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Overall, the expo was nothing special.  I guess I was expecting big things since it is a Rock N Roll event, but honestly, I’ve seen better.  The important thing is we got our bibs and we’re ready to go.

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We spent the rest of the evening properly fueling for our big day.  All we need now is a good night’s sleep.  So, goodnight my friends. 

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To everyone out there running tomorrow, wherever you are…

good luckhave a great race