Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Most Embarrassing Story Ever

I'm really sorry for my lack of content lately.  I've been having a hard time coming up with things to talk about since nothing really spectacular is going on with myself or the kids.  There's only so many times you can hear about my 3 mile run.  What's that?  You do want to hear? Ah shucks you're such faithful readers.

3 Mile Run:

Mile 1:  9:54
Mile 2:  9:58
Mile 3:  9:57
Total:  29:53:22 
Average: 9:56

See! That would be all my blog would consist of for today unless you want to see pictures of 5 baskets of NEW laundry even though the last loads are still in baskets waiting to be put away.  Not true really, I did get 2 put away today (of 4) so I have 7 to go. Anyone want to help?

Annnnnyway.... I turned to my faithful Facebook friends (like my Facebook page here) for suggestions on what I should be blogging about these days.  Why are y'all so shy?  I got three suggestions.  I randomly selected (as in I decided) which one I should talk about tonight.  Here were my choices.

Ok fine I just decided to take them in order in which they were received (and if you add a suggestion I'll blog about your request too).

Julie wanted to hear about embarrassing stories.  Although I am sure there are MANY MANY stories I could tell, I prefer to tell you of the MOST embarrassing story that has ever happened to me.

I was young, as in really young, and WAAAAAY too young to be consuming alcohol, but I was anyway.   I was poolside sunning myself in my itsy bitsy bikini (what?  I HAD the body back then... I said I was young) soaking up even more rays into my already BLEACH BLEACH blonde hair.  Like I was saying, I spent the day in nothing but a tiny bikini sipping myself silly with about 20 or so of my closest friends complete strangers.

My sister was there and she wasn't drinking (who knows why, party pooper).  She had one thing on her mind and that was going to the grocery store for much needed food.   Apparently she told me she was leaving a multitude or times, but I was oblivious to my surroundings and/or ignored her.

Fine by her, she decided to go without me.   When I saw her driving by through the chain link fence I screamed at the top of my lungs for her stop, exclaiming that I wanted to go with her.  She was furious, screaming at me to hurry up.  She was so annoyed MEAN!  I mean, who doesn't want to take a drunk, underaged, semi clothed, bleach blond bimbo to the grocery store?  Not my sister, that's who.

She was at the far end of the pool opposite of the gate used to enter and exit the pool, and she huffed that I had better hurry up or she'd be leaving me there.  *Gasp* How Rude.  Not to be left behind, I developed a plan to get to her side as quickly as possible.  Rather than waste 20 steps walking to the gate in the fence, I'd simply climb over the fence closest to where she was "waiting".

I began with one foot in one of the links of the fence and began to swing the other one over the top.  Gracefully I landed that foot on the other side of the fence and all there was left to do was swing the last leg over and I was home free.  Do you see where this is going yet?  Well instead of being graceful, I managed to snag my, already itsy bitsy, bikini bottoms on the top of the chain link.  I managed to partially depants myself all while one leg was on the ground and the other up in the air unable to move because of my bottoms being snagged on the fence.  I had effectively given the whole pool a "free show" of EVERYTHING.

My BFF at the time quickly ran to me and unsnapped my bottoms and I promptly put two feet on the ground and bowed.  As I turned to walk away I heard one thing, "I guess we all know she's not a real blonde."

That hurts!


Anonymous said...

I was the one that lifted you down AND Yes, this was the story!!! XO G

Amanda Gray Mills said...

OMG, just caught up on your blog and read this. HILARIOUS!

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