Monday, April 23, 2012

Do I Really Want In?

In two days I will find out if I get into the NYC Marathon via lottery.  This is my third time to apply so I am grandfathered in to being automatically accepted NEXT year.  I find myself feeling very torn about whether or not I want to be accepted into the marathon this year.

Me spectating last year 

First of all, there is the whole expense of taking a family of 5 to NYC, but that is really not as big of an issue as actually training for a marathon.  Secondly, 26.2 miles is a LONG way and training to get there is even longer, especially in the Texas summer heat.

I will run the NYC marathon as it is a really a life long dream, but I'm not totally sold on marathoning altogether.

Let's take a look at my history shall we?  I trained in 2010 and 2011 for the Austin Marathon in February of 2011.  Over the course of my training I had two shoulder surgeries, as well as surgery to remove kidney stones.  I was in a new city where I knew no one and trained COMPLETELY alone up until the last 4 weeks when I met Julie.

Training completely alone was long and tedious.  Although I know that won't be the case this time, none of my friends will be training for an early November marathon.   So, it's inevitable that some of my long runs will do done, at leas in part, ALL ALONE.  I know I'm a baby, but they're my feelings and I'm entitled to them.

Despite overcoming some major physical issues and my training loneliness, I finished the Austin Marathon and met my goal of finishing in less than five hours, but getting there MOST DEFINITELY was not easy.

As soon as that race was over, I knew I'd do another marathon because I knew I wanted to train HEALTHY.  So I immediately started thinking of my next marathon and signed up for the Rock n Roll San Antonio Marathon in November of 2011.

My training went beautifully.  I could even say it was perfect.  I trained with Bianca the whole time so the miles went by quickly, I kept away from any major injury and I rarely missed a scheduled run.

By the time the marathon came around, I felt prepared and ready to run a 4:30 marathon and if not definitely a 4:45.  Ok, ok anything better than my finishing time in Austin (4:58) would do.

Then marathon day came and it was nearly 90 degrees.  I suffered through almost every step of this marathon past 13 miles.  I even walked (something I have NEVER done in race).  I can still remember the feeling of defeat.  Wanting to run faster, wanting to do more, but just not physically being able to do it.

I wound up finishing WORSE than I had in Austin, finishing in 5:02.  To say I was disappointed is an understatement.  It was a horrible feeling.  I know there is nothing I can do to change it and I'm not really mad at myself.  I know I did as well as I could possibly have done that day.  I gave it my all, but the weather was just NOT on my side.

I guess the truth is, I'm just not overly eager to suffer through the training only to have it end in disappointment.  So maybe I'm afraid to get into NYC because maybe I'm afraid to I'll disappoint myself all over again.  I gave up SIX MONTHS of my life training for a marathon.  Half a year people!  I felt like I put in so much work and got so little out of myself in return.

Still, part of me wants to say those two little words.  I'm in!

I'm only about 60 or so votes out of first place in the Beyond the Wall photo contest.  
Click here to cast your vote.  Click the link then hit the "view all leaders" tab and hit the red vote button.  I mean seriously who doesn't want to see me blog from Kona?  
Oh how I wish you'd do me this teeny tiny favor.  Thanks friends.  


Kortni said...

Ok, first of all you should just be proud of that fact you have run two marathons! That in itself is amazing! Secondly, you need to find a marathon that is not in November in Texas and not in Austin...come to Houston. It is flat here. Give yourself the edge and the training is not so much in the summer! Either way be proud of yourself!!

Feener44 said...

i applied for my first time...i doubt i will get in but i too am all nervous if i really want it....i have never done a full only halfs but the only full i do want to do is NYC.

tracey smith said...

I felt the same way when I applied and I found out I got in when Megan was 2 months old! It was worth it and you will enjoy the experience no matter when you run it.

On a side note, if you don't get in, maybe we can find one to run together sometime soon!

Tim said...

Yep trust me, you really want to get in...there's nothing like it. After training in the Texas heat it will be a breeze for you. Besides, we want an excuse to go to New York again and you're our best shot! But if you don't get in this year we know what we'll be doing the first Sunday of November in 2013. Good luck and let us know as soon as you find out!

Nanettegil1229 said...

You continue to inspire me. Don't beat yourself up over San Antonio. I ran the half and felt the exact same way. My time was much worse in SA too. The weather was a huge factor. If you get into NY then embrace it with open arms. You'll do great & will love every minute of it. Good luck!!

Momswimbikerun said...

Thanks for the kind words. I guess I'll know tomorrow!

Momswimbikerun said...

I know this will be a once in a lifetime experience. I'll embrace it and I'd love if y'all were there!

Momswimbikerun said...

ohhh I like that idea!

Momswimbikerun said...

Don't be so sure, my friend Bianca got in last year when she applied for the first time. It's all luck! Good luck!!!

Momswimbikerun said...

Flat! I like flat!!! Thanks Kortni!

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