Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Confessions of Coffee/Yogurt/Pizza Shop

Wednesdays are a crazy day/night for me.  Ella has dance that lasts from 4:30 to 6:45 and Nicholas has Dek Hockey from 6:00 to 7:00.  I usually hang out a little while at dance and then walk 100 yards to the nearest restaurant, which is a pizza/yogurt/coffee shop.  It's a crazy combination, but it works.  Seeing as Nicholas would proabably chew his arm off if I made him wait until 7:00 to eat dinner, I feed he and Jack at the pizza shop every Wednesday night.  Tonight Nicholas got picked up for Dek Hockey by Tracey (thank you!) and I planned a party meeting with moms from Ella's class for her Halloween party.  This is the ultimate in multi-tasking.

Anyway, as you can imagine there are a lot of folks in and out of this shop from 4:30 to 6:45 and I'm here to tell you all about them. 

The Mother from Hell:  Last week I sat with the same mother over at dance class and she proceeded to yell and threaten her child for the whole time I was there.  When he'd had just about enough of her he told her to shut up.  Her reply?  "Do you remember what happened the last time you told me that?  Didn't it get fat enough for you last time?"  I swore I was on that show What Would You Do and several times was close to just saying something.  Anyway, today she was at the pizza shop at the same time I was and just when I thought I'd enjoy my dinner she started in with the EXACT same threats as last week.  She repeatedly told her son he was 5 and not 2.  I felt like telling her to treat him like he's 5 and he'll act 5.  Rocket science I know.  Well then she totally went off on her husband.  He was a tool, but that's not really his fault.  Her going off on him was just down right bitchy.  I'm hoping she gets something before next week that makes her happy.  Sex?  Money?  A massage?  Something!  I smile quietly to myself thanking God I'm not that miserable.  

The Family of Five:  Every time I see a family of five (that includes 3 small children) I find myself  wondering how the mother does it.   I mean these kids are just 2 years or so apart with the smallest in his feety jammies barely big enough to enjoy a tiny bite of frozen yogurt.  Then it hits me.  That is ME! Only my life is fast forwarded by about 4 years and my life is so much easier.  The point is, I was once there and I remember it was hard, but I made it through. I smile quietly to myself and thank God I made it through to the other side and still love myself and my kids.  

The Argyle Sweater:  He walks in the door and is greeted by name by the man behind the counter.  He's middle aged and a little plumper than I assume he would like.  He's happy though with a smile and I imagine he's about to eat his dinner in the form of frozen yogurt.  He disappears behind the wall where I can no longer see him and chooses his poison.  He steps up to the counter and drops his container on the scale.  "That'll be $9.72," the clerk announces and lets him know he thinks that may be a "new record".  Argyle Sweater announces he beat that record last night.  I imagine what his life must be like and wonder if he is as happy as his purple and green sweater and smiling face portrays.  Maybe he is, maybe he isn't.  I will never know. I smile quietly to myself and thank God Argyle never goes out of style.  

The Sister Combo:  A mom settles two young girls into the booth across from me.  They appear to be 10 and 12 (or so) although I'm sure they've been mistaken for twins like my sister and I used to be.  The mother kisses them both and reminds them of what dance shoes they're supposed to wear to class.  She lies two one dollar bills on the table (a tip) and walks away.  The girls quietly observe what's going on around them but aren't really talking.  Soon enough their food arrives (a calzone and wings).  Each chooses their poison and they dig in in silence.  I quietly observe them and wonder why they don't have much to say to one another.  I smile quietly to myself and thank God for sisters.  

The Blazer and Blue Tooth:  I'd been sitting eating my dinner when I looked over out of the corner of my eye and saw a women sitting by herself on the bench.  She had a blue tooth in her ear and was wearing a red blazer.  She was middle aged and, for lack of a better word, homely.  I don't know what it is about a blue tooth, but it just screams to me arrogant asshole or middle aged women with a career and a cat and a lonely life.  Clearly that is a stereotype and I'm probably wrong.  So if you're a 20 year old hipster with a bluetooth then please excuse me.  Anyway, Blazer and Blue Tooth got her hoagie (a large) and that was it.  She smiled and clutched it to her chest and walked out.  I'm not sure if she'd be sharing it with someone or if she'd be scarfing it down without another soul in site.  I smile quietly to myself and thank God for my company (and the fact that I don't own a blazer, but if I did you can bet your bottom dollar it would have those cute little patches on the elbows).  

Clearly I made some assumptions about people and I'm willing to admit that they're mostly wrong.  These are just my observation and I'm really in no position to judge.  I smile quietly to myself and thank God no one is writing a blog about me.  


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