Monday, December 31, 2012

Beware of the Debbie Downer Post

I'm just going to go ahead and be honest.  No one need say anything about what I'm about to post.  I'm not fishing for compliments or for you to tell me how great I am.  This is just a little post about my feelings.

As 2012 comes to a close I feel like somewhat of a loser.  Ok maybe saying a loser is a little harsh, but I don't feel really good about myself.  I wanted to run 1000 miles and I didn't even come close.  I wanted to run a 5k and PR and I didn't even run one.  I wanted to run my best marathon time ever and I didn't.  I didn't even get to run the real marathon I had trained for.  I'm going to go ahead and admit, that despite my pride in running 26.2 mile in Central part, not getting to run the New York City marathon sucked.  I trained through a long and hard summer in Texas.  I ran when I thought my legs wouldn't run any more.   I pushed myself to be the best I could be and I thought I really would have the marathon I had dreamed of.  Nope... all taken away.  Woah is me.  I know.  Don't worry I have perspective and I realize what's important in life.  I don't have things out of perspective, but I'm still bummed about my crappy marathon ending.

So I put the marathon behind me.  I had my marathon and I dealt with the disappointment and moved on to the next thing.  I was excited about starting back to swimming and biking (spin for now through the winter months) and doing CrossFit.  I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY love CrossFit.  I was excited to no longer be doing 20, 18 or even 15 mile long runs on the weekend.  I was excited to get fresh legs back and do some shorter/faster runs.  My legs had other plans.

Since marathon training ended, I think I had one good one.  I had one run that I was actually proud of.   One run where my legs felt good and fresh.  One run where I felt like I was running up to my running potential.  I told myself, this is it, this is what I've been waiting for.  Then suddenly my tired legs starting creeping back in.  My hamstrings hated me.  My buttocks hated me.  Every time I went to CrossFit my legs got sore (as one would expect), but I felt like my legs could never recover.

With each weekend came a long run and I suffered.  I could barely maintain a 11:30 pace.  THAT'S SLOWER THAN I RAN 26.2 MILES.  The tightness and pain in my hamstrings and butt is just too much for me to handle.  Running sucked both mentally and physically.

So here I sit headed into 2013 without having met my 2012 goals and no hope (right now) of being able to meet my 2013 goals.  I can't even run-- of that much I am certain.  So I'm headed into 2013 with a lot of uncertainty.  I'm planning to take a full week off from any exercise at all.  I'm focusing on literally stretching my hamstrings every 2 hours and adding some piriformis stretches after 3 days (all advice I received from my PT in Texas).  If things do not improve over 1 weeks times then I'm definitely going to a physical therapist for help.

I've never had an injury before.  Well I've had two broken bones, but that doesn't count.  I've never had something that was just a nagging pain that didn't go away.  I don't even know if this is considered an injury, but I know it's something I can no longer ignore.  I have to address it and hopefully heal myself.

But you know what you guys.  I'm depressed about it.  I'm moving into the new year, a time when you're supposed to be tackling your new goals with gusto.  Yet, here I sit unable to do anything.  I know it's what I NEED to do.   I know it's what my body needs me to do for it, but it just plain sucks... and I'm sad.

So I'm going to ring in the new year and I'm going to do it with whine wine!  Happy New Year everyone.  My fitness new year will just have to wait a few weeks longer.


Kortni said...

This makes me sad. I am sorry! Your life has been filled with crazy amounts of stress. I think you just need to focus on getting settled, getting your sweet kiddos settled and enjoy your house. Then when all that is done you focus on you again! Hopefully by then that dumb hammy will be back to normal...and have some wine for me! Happy New Year to you!!

Courtney Tobin said...

Dang, so sorry to hear you're having such issues. I've been sidelined before and it truly sucks, esp when you have big goals and it's part of your life in such a big way. Just wondering, do you ever get massage? It can make a huge difference!!

momswimbikerun said...

Everyone keeps suggesting massage. Maybe I should just try it!!! Can't hurt!

acspartan said...

I have also had a nagging hamstring problem for the past few weeks and have been diligently ignoring it. No amount of foam rolling will help and I'm pretty sure stretching is making it worse. Try a massage school (Jennifer goes to one in Austin) for a massage on the cheap!

Andi Missroon said...

Hi - a friend recommended your blog to me today. Pretty cool :) I wanted to throw something out there. I was having pretty significant glute and hamstring pain (physical therapy, vascular dr., foam rollers, massage therapy...) and a personal trainer finally said we needed to try intense core training as he thought that a weak core was contributing/maybe causing the tightness in my leg muscles. It's been about 4 months and I am thrilled with the results - no pain! Maybe food for thought. You are very inspiring!

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