Thursday, February 28, 2013

Throwback Thursday: Everything's Relative

Today I've decided everything is relative, especially weight.  You know how they say, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."  Well I say, "One man's fat is another man's skinny."  I often refer to myself (mostly in my mind) as fat.  But, here's the thing... I wear a size 4 mostly and sometimes a 6 (hardly obese right?).  So while I realize I'm not exactly fat per se, I still struggle with my body image.

Often times I'll see people who really are struggling with their weight and then I feel guilty for picking myself apart.  I feel overwhelmed by my body "issues" and wonder where to start and how I'll get to my desired destination.   I then realize what it most feel like to someone who is severely obese and I'm reminded to be thankful for what I have.

On the other hand, as I type this, I figure there are people who are reading who are saying, "you're really not that skinny."  Or I'll see a picture of myself and literally have to turn away in disgust.  Or I'm reminded of the time one of my friends said to me, "I just wish I could wear a bikini like you and not care."  I know she didn't mean anything by it, but I knew that meant I didn't look good in my bikini, but she thought I wore it anyway because I just didn't care.  She didn't mean to inadvertently tell me I didn't look good, but I heard her loud and clear.

So which side of the fence do I find myself today?  Am I fat or am I skinny?  The answer is.... I don't know any more.  I don't even trust my own judgement.  I was reminiscing with my friend today and we talked about a trip we took in 1999 (I believe) to Cancun.  I thought I was HUGE.  I remembering being embarrassed to walk around in my bathing suit and afraid everyone was staring at my imperfections.  It wasn't just something I said, I really believed I was fat.

Now I'd KILL to have that body and I'm hard pressed to find a flaw.  You see, everything is relative and I apparently I can't even trust myself to be the judge.  So starting loving yourself just the way you are and don't judge yourself, because maybe you can't be trusted either.

Megan, Myself and Jen (left to Right) 

Tipping the scales. How did I let myself be seen in public.  
P.S.  How 'bout that hair???????


Ryan said...

Your kidding right!!!!!!!!!!!! Your a mom of three beautiful kids, and have one of the nicest caring husbands i know and you still look great and you push yourself to lead a healthy life style as much as possible, you shouldn't even give it a second thought! Think about your life for a second... outside of your weight! Not only are the things true that i stated already, but your kids are nice and well mannered, smart, and enjoy life! You and your family have touched so many other people in your life whether it was when we first met you, to the great people you became close to in Austin, to the new people you are meeting now. My god, i thought that it was going to be an all out war when you were deciding whether or not to come back to Pittsburgh or stay in Austin (if you played your cards right you could of went to the highest bidder). My point is, i think we ALL obsess at one time or another about stuff in the grand scheme of things that don't mean as much (money, fat or skinny, what am i wearing), when all you have to do to really judge your worth is look at the people you have around you, friends and family! You (we) are truly blessed to have what we have in life and should focus on that rather than focusing on the things in life that define you as a person, mother or friend! Should i start my own blog??? LOL!!!!

momswimbikerun said...

awwww thanks Ryan, that was really sweet and you are definitely right. I definitely lose sight sometimes. Thanks for the reminder!

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