Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Summer Bucket List Edition (Pirates Game)

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

My Two Cents on the Wisest Words

I saw this on Facebook and I thought I'd give you my 2 cents on each of the "100 wisest words".  I don't know why I felt compelled to tell you how I felt about this list.  Maybe because I thought of the 100 "wisest words" about 10 were truly wise.  Some good advice yes, but the wisest words are probably things like... "I have this idea called Google"  or "I do solemnly swear to tell the truth".  Anyway, hopefully it's good for a laugh.  

A high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words 

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

Caaaaaaanon Baaaaaaaaaall

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

How else would I do it?  Oh yes, email is a better choice.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

Sorry but furry conventions aren't for everyone.  Knock knock! 

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

Or 2 

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

Unless you don't vote, then you don't get a say. 

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

Also don't tell anyone anything you don't want printed on the front page of the newspaper.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

Or my personal favorite, the granny shot. 

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

I think she came up with this one when she was at the beach.  Bikinis should not come in certain sizes.  Nor should speedos. 

9. Don’t dumb it down.


10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

This is for men everywhere!!!!  

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

The dressers in hotels have never been used.  Have they?  Just me?  

12. Never park in front of a bar.

I'm not sure why we're driving to the bar in the first place.  Shouldn't we be walking stumbling home?  

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

I never understood why people get so bent out of shape about this, but then again is that 1.5 inch recline really helping?  

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

I've don't have a picture of any of these things.  In fact, I've never had a fish.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

In other words maybe you should be looking for heros in places other than Hollywood.  

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

It's not a PhD so go ahead and burn under the bulbs, but I don't suggest it for other reasons rather than "earning" it.  

17. Never lie to your doctor.

I've always wondered if people are honest on those questionnaires.  I mean who admits to a doctor that they do recreational drugs?  

18. All guns are loaded.

Better safe than sorry 

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.


20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

Or post a pic, it lasts longer.  

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

How long is this vacation?  

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

Life is about consuming the bread.  Life is too short.  

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

But, but, but you can sell the autograph on Ebay.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

No one wants flies in the kitchen. 

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

Not sure of this one.  I've never chosen to go in drag.  Not sure why this is one of the wisest lessons.  

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

Stupid freckles 

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

Dumb and Dumber 

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

I just can't spend $$$$$$ on sheets.  I'm not Oprah.  

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

I don't have a desk. 

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

Make new friends, but keep they old.  One is silver and the other's gold.  (Girl Scouts!)

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

Thankful to those that ate with me.  +Jennifer

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

Here's a story about this.  

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

I wrote an apology to a girl I went to high school with when I found her on Facebook.  It was overdue and a much deserved apology.  I felt much better after I did it. 

34. Don’t pose with booze.

Just hide it behind your back. 

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

I hate when people wave me on at the 4 way stop and they were clearly there first.  HATE IT!!! 

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

Wrong!  It took me awhile, but I finally got George to call me Princess. 

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

Poor George. 

38. Never push someone off a dock.

Or they might lose their sunglasses and you'll feel bad and have to buy them an expensive gift card.  

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

Good call

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

I'm not sure there's a whole lot to live up to in my family gene pool.  Hahaha

41. Don’t make a scene.

Um, it's rare I don't.  

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

I agree.  No one cares.  Always thank your mother and your spouse.  

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

When you have a zit or haven't showered.  

44. Never gloat.

Who me?  Did I ever tell you about the time I won .... ok clearly I don't have much gloating to do.  

45. Invest in good luggage.

Why?  So it can be ruined by baggage handlers and then you bring it to their attention and they tell you you can pick a similar bag from their discarded items.  

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

Really?  Not that I'd mind spending time with my mom, but since when is one's birthday about anyone but oneself?  

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

Haha is it a mixer?  Oh shit it is?  hahaha

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

I don't even know what this means. 

49. Give credit. Take blame.


50. Suck it up every now and again.

Suck it in too!  

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

Again, this is important why? 

52. Don’t stare.

Also solid. Although I've been accused of it MANY times.  Those that know me, know the Susan face.  I don't even know I'm doing it. 

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

Hmmm everyone?  

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

Bullies are mean.  Mean people suck. 

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.


56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

Luckily I'm never wrong. 

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

No one likes a quitter. 

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

It's kind of hard when he's in the car and didn't let me merge over.  "Thanks a lot @$$hole"  See, hard to look him in the eye. 

59. Thank the bus driver.

I ALWAYS do this.  How hard is it to say thanks for helping me to arrive safely with no seat belts.  

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

EVER, because then you might miss out on filling up on bread. 

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.  ;)  

62. Know at least one good joke.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?  

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

Well that mother should see # 61 

64. Know how to cook one good meal.


65. Learn to drive a stick shift.


66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

Wait what?  Whose reputation mine or theirs?  

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

What is never have I ever for $1000 Alex?  

68. Dance with your mother/father.

Shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your booty. 

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

Also known as flipping your shit and that's never cool, especially at work.  

70. Always thank the host.

I was taught this at a young age.  Kids today... Not so much.  

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

What's this butto.... EJECT!!!!!  

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

And refer to it as the perfect size X as my husband always does.  :D

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

Or a ringer T if you're George Tirch

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

Must improve upon this. 

75. Keep your word.

I can't stand a flake.  Worst character flaw ever.  

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

haha I was such a nerd and always sat front row (until I got IN to pharmacy school and then I didn't have anyone to impress anymore).  

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.


78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

The people I am NOT patient with are the morons in line with me.  What don't you understand about remove EVERYTHING.  No you can't keep that sweatshirt tied around your waist.  Yes taking off your shoes applies to YOU too.  Laptop goes in a special container.... this is NOT rocket science and you should be able to accomplish these tasks fairly quickly after standing around watching everyone else do them for 20 minutes.  

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

Shhhhhh the movie's starting

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

The same sex like people that shower too.  

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

I thought you are what you eat.  Who changed it?  

82. Learn to change a tire.

Or marry a guy that will do it for you.  I prefer the latter.  

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

Be kind.  No reason necessary.  

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

I miss my PaPa. 

85. Don’t litter.

I don't, but seriously if people didn't, who would adopt all those roads? 

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

Um, my opinion doesn't mean jack shit.  She's doing whatever she wants to do regardless of how I feel.  hahahaha

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

Correct, correct, I seriously doubt it.  Why inflate my ego?  I'll always just be average and I'm ok with that. 

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

Text them first and see if they're awake. 

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.


90. Make the little things count.

Nicholas, Ella and Jack, start counting!  

91. Always wear a bra at work.

Um how about, always wear a bra. 

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

I always preferred sultry.  Leaving a little to the imagination is always better.  Too bad that the imagination is probably also better than the real thing, which leads me back to... leave a little to the imagination.  

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.


94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

Did a man write this? 

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

Some of the words are so confusing.  O'er the ramparts we watched?  What does that even mean?  

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.

Who said I was all alone?  Maybe others don't want to make fools of themselves either!  

97. Smile at strangers.

They'll think you're up to something. 

98. Make goals.

Preferably a hat trick.  ;) 

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

But being lame is.  

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

Or learn how to run really fast.  

Do you have your 2 cents you'd like to add?  What do you think about the wisest list? 

Monday, July 29, 2013

Preparing for Upcoming Events

Last night I decided I would go for a run and not just a run on the treadmill at the gym.  Because we all know there, I blame the treadmill for being slow and I take walk breaks and I just don't generally do well AT ALL on the treadmill.  Yeah so I decided I'd go run and I'd do it outside like a big girl and I'd do it ALL ALONE.

Something has been telling me that I need to get back to running alone a little more.  Not because I don't like running with my friends because I absolutely do.  I prefer to run with my friends, but running with my friends sometimes makes me feel bad.  NO ONE ever makes me feel bad, but they're all faster than I am and not being able to keep up is sometimes not good for the psyche.

So I figured I'd get back to my roots and run, just me myself and I, and I was scared.  I was scared my legs would hurt, I was scared I'd be running a 12:00 pace (which is just not good for ME, me being the operative word), and I was scared that it would be so bad I wouldn't want to run anymore.

But I woke up this morning to this.

I decided it was ok to be scared but I couldn't have a bad attitude.  I just had to go out there and do my very best and that's all I could ask of myself.  I was only setting out to run 2 miles, after all.  2 miles because I promised myself I'd ease into things and 2 miles because that's about all I can do around my house without hitting MAJOR hills.

My route definitely had some hills, but they aren't huge (even though any hill feels huge these days).

I'm so glad my run went well.  I'm glad I went and I'm glad I went alone.  It renewed a little confidence in me that maybe I can SLOWLY return to my former running self.

Mile 1:  10:33
Mile 2:  10: 24
Total:  20:57 
Average:  10:25 

It's a slow start, but it's my start and it makes me happy.  They'll be lots more runs coming up in my future.  I signed up for the Rock N Roll Cleveland Half Marathon on October 6th.

I really wanted to do a fall half and this is the only race close by that fit nicely into my schedule.  It's in 8 weeks so I have many more miles to log, but I'm registered for a race and I'm up for the challenge.  It feels good to really feel like I have to train for a half.  For so long I've just gone out there and taken it for granted and now I'm going to earn it!

I can't wait!

p.s.  I'm also registered for the quick chick 10k on October 13th and the Austin Half Marathon in February!

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Quick Weekend Trip

We spent the weekend at George's parents house... in the country.  George, Ella and I rode out on the four wheeler to pick wild blackberries.

Not proper foot attire.... I know

Ella was extremely pleased!

Our visit had a dual purpose (visit George's family and see my good friend Jen's daughter get baptized).   Nicholas was so NOT pleased to be wearing these clothes, but I think he looks so incredibly cute.  I.CAN.NOT.STAND.IT.  It was also a TOTAL coincidence that the kids matched.

Ella is so in love with Ruth!  She cried tonight and told me how much she loves her and how she already misses her.  I managed to calm her down, but she had another meltdown at bedtime.  I told her to draw Ruth a picture every time she misses her.  I think they'll be a LOT of pictures in Ruth's future.

 Country living takes it out of you, my kids were so exhausted on the car ride home.

Always the sign of a successful weekend!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Deck of Death Comeback

So the summer has absolutely been FLYING by.  I wanted to say literally flying by just to irritate you.  For everyone reading this, although I know YOU'RE much smarter and don't need an explanation, if you say LITERALLY that means it REALLY happened.  So for the summer to literally be flying by you'd have to see summer outside your airplane window.  Please don't ever say you literally died.  Just don't do it.  Ok sorry, don't know where that rant just came from.  

Anyway, summer, yes it has been flying by and I feel like I have done so little with my kids despite always being busy.  I feel guilty taking them to the gym.  I know I shouldn't feel guilty really, but let's face it summer is time for the kids, it's not really mom time.  So as I thought about what I wanted to do for a workout today and I thought about going to the gym, I wasn't really feeling it.  I didn't feel like being inside (Pittsburgh is having phenomenal weather right now, unseasonably cool and sunny) and I didn't want to drag the kids to the gym.  

Hmmmm, I thought to myself, what am I going to do for a workout then.  I could get up early and go run.... nope don't really feel like that.  I just ran yesterday and with easing back into things, I don't want to push it.  That's when it hit me.  THE DECK OF DEATH.  We've talked about it here before, but it's totally worth revisiting.  

What you'll need:  

A deck of cards
A mat or towel (optional)
I used a jump rope for this workout but it's not necessary as you can use whatever exercises you want 

Designate one "move" for each suit in the deck.  I chose hearts as push-ups, diamonds as burpees, spades as Double Unders (when the rope passes under your feet two times with each jump) and clubs as Air Squats. 

Draw your first card and perform the move (based on the suit) and the rep (based on the number).  Aces = 15 and face cards = 10.   For instance if you draw a 9 of diamonds, you do 9 burpees.

If you draw the Queen of hearts you do 10 push-ups.  I do all push-ups on my knees and go chest to floor.  I try (TRY) to do tricep push-ups (where you keep your elbows hugged in tight and the elbows go straight back) but I suck at life and they're so hard.

I still haven't mastered my double under.  Double unders are so hard.

The good news is I did get a few and the even better news is, I didn't pee my pants jumping rope!

Winning!  If you can only do single jumps, then triple whatever was on the card you drew.  So if you draw a 8, you do 24 or 10 you do 30. Get it?

In case anyone doesn't know what an air squat is, it's just a squat in the air.  Haha.  You start off standing with your feet hip width apart and your toes turned slightly outward.

Then you squat.  

Oh no that is NOT a squat you better get lower than that!  Below hip crease it what counts.  

That is a squat my friend!

You keep turning over cards until you have done the WHOLE deck.  ALL 52 cards.  You get such a good mix of all the exercises and by the end you will have done 100 or each exercise.  100 push-ups, 100 burpees!!!!, 100 double unders (or 300 singles) and 100 air squats.  That's a no joke workout.  I literally sweat my ass off.  Ha! I wish!  

The workout took me just about 40 minutes.  That's because I'm fat and out of shape.  I know it's not nice to say about myself, but it's just the truth.  That's why I'm doing this.  To get better and be less fat.  Literally!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Surgery Update IV

I look really good in a hospital gown. 

I do well with hours of not being able to eat before surgery.

I love IVs and anesthesia nausea and vomitting.

But I've decided there will be no more (cross your fingers) pics of me in hospital gowns.   I'm NOT having surgery tomorrow.  My surgery was cancelled!

You see, I haven't had to catheterize myself in over a week.  I'm still not peeing normally (I'm mostly still standing), but things are improving and that was enough for my doctor to say NOT to have the surgery.  In fact, I've peed sitting all day long.  I feel so stupid talking about my pee problems, but hey it's real life.

So there you have it.  No surgery and hopes for continued improvement.  AND, AND, AND it's been 4 weeks since my original surgery (can you believe that?) and that means I can start working out again.

I'm kinda scared to get back to things because I have no idea what I can do and if I'll mess up the mesh lifting or riding my bike.  I'm going to let my body be my guide and do what feels right and comfortable.  I am NOT going to push things.

Plus, my legs (you know my stupid legs) STILL don't feel right and if that means I can't run then I'm not going to run.  I don't want to admit defeat, but I also don't want to run and feel miserable.  I know that much!

But, I'm back people and I'm ready to get after it!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Luke Bryan Concert VIPs

I mentioned that I traveled to Indianapolis this weekend to visit my family (my dad, one sister and brother live there) and to go to the Luke Bryan concert.  My other sister (Amy from Pittsburgh) is a HUGE Luke Bryan fan, like it's unnatural how much she loves him.  She hooked us up via the fan club (I told you it was unnatural) with VIP tickets.  That meant we got to eat some food and Luke sang 6 songs to our small group.

I can't even tell you how much fun we all had and it will be hard to articulate, but trust me there were so many shenanigans and LOTS of fun.

We all met at my sister's dad's house (Think about that and let me know if you need an explanation.) since he lives closer to the venue and we needed to ride in two cars.  Here's the line up.

Emily (niece), Moi, Sara (sister), Amy (sister in law), Amy (sister), Genna (niece), Abbey (niece), Belle (nephew's girlfriend and also my adopted daughter for the day)

Here's the girls with boots line up.

Me, Amy, Genna and Abbey
We arrived at the venue at around 3:45 and started tail gaiting.  I was driving so I decided 2 drinks would be my limit.  We all started quickly consuming the beverages we brought.  

Remember the size of that can later.  That's all I'm saying. 

Of course I had my camera and made all the mother daughters take a pic.

I quickly realized I didn't have a teenager so I adopted Belle for the day.  She was probably embarrassed of her old mamma!  

We (as in the older adults) didn't tailgate that long as we all had VIP status.   Did I mention that?  Yeah, that's how we roll.  Ok fine, all that got us was an autographed poster, a tote bag, a few pieces of carrots with ranch oh and those 6 songs sung before the concert. 

My sister said I could post this pic even though her eyes are closed b/c her leg looks skinny.  I like how she thinks! 

The VIP tent in and of itself was pretty lame, but we made our fun while we waited for Luke to come on.  The girls bought a few more drinks so the fun was really starting to kick in.

BIG ASS Rita's (3X the normal size).  I want these for home

When Luke finally did come on, it was so worth it.  I felt like I could have reached out and touched him and it was VERY cool to be so close and intimate.

Some of us also tried on random stranger's hats.

I drank a little bit of the ritas in the tent, but after the VIP event was over, I cut myself off and got myself a designated driver bracelet.  No more drinking for me.

Clearly Amy wasn't driving.  Ha! 
We had such an awesome time at the concert and Luke was REALLY close.  Amy was quite pleased!  

Sara and I often got yelled at and threatened if we sat down.

My biggest thrill of the night came when Willie Robertson (from Duck Dynasty) joined Luke on stage. I was so damn excited.  Now I FINALLY realized what Amy had been experiencing all day.  Ha!

I think we left the parking lot shortly before midnight.  It was a long and exhausting day, but totally worth it.  Let's do it again next year ladies!