Yesterday my sister told me I was looking "too thin" and I had to laugh because I'm actually at my "heavy weight".
Then I was chatting with a friend on Facebook and she told me I looked good and that "even my neck was skinny". That made me laugh too, but also made me reflect on the feelings about my body.
You see, I tend to fluctuate between 132 and 142. Where do you think I feel my best? Of course at 132.
|August 2012 132lbs|
At the pool I'm incredibly self conscious and I feel like everyone is judging me. When I went 4 wheeling this past weekend and saw the pictures of myself, I cringed.
|Me fixing my shirt so I wouldn't "look fat" |
So here I am, most likely 142 pounds (or close to it) and I'm feeling down.
|July 2013 140ish|
This post has no point really, other than to say that I'm not feeling my best and talking about it might spark something inside myself to do something about it. The point is, if you want something you have to work for it. There's no easy way out. You can't out exercise a bad diet and you can't expect results if you're not putting in the effort. Here's what a year of slacking off in the eating department has changed things.
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, and while I don't really believe my happiness is defined by a number on the scale, I know being a certain weight does make me feel good.
Please understand that my issues with MY body are just that-- MY issues. I don't think that you have to be a certain weight or number to be fit or healthy. I do believe that it is important to feel good about YOURSELF no matter what anyone else thinks (even if what they think is incredibly sweet).
So no I don't think I'm too thin. I also don't think I'm too fat, but I want the feeling of feeling proud of my body and I just don't have it right now.