Monday, September 16, 2013

Bailing on My Long Run

Listen, I'm here to tell you all the time, I'm not perfect.  I don't claim to be and I never will be.  I have a hard time finding motivation to workout sometimes and yesterday was one of those days.

I planned to go to my mom's because George was out of town to get in my long run.  George was going to meet me at my moms (about an hour away) and I was going to run and then we were going to have lunch together at my moms.

The good thing is, where my moms lives is almost completely flat.  I was looking forward to running without having to run a million hills.  As I drove up to my moms I knew I wasn't really feeling it mentally.  I just didn't feel like running for close to 2 hour by myself.  I shrugged off my negative feelings, and tried to focus on having a really good (hopefully pain free, because there are no hills) run.

After a self imposed detour (to the donut shop) and then an unexpected detour due to road construction, I arrived at my moms much later than I anticipated.  George was already there waiting for me and lunch was getting closer.  I realized also that I had forgotten my water belt.  That meant, I had nothing to carry my water or phone and I had no fuel.

I decided that not having all of those things were just excuses and I set out to do my 10 miles with a bottle of Dasani in one hand and my phone in the other.  I said to myself, "just suck it up and go, it won't be that bad once you get going."

I started running and looked down at my Garmin the first time I wanted to quit-- it read .29 miles.  So at .29 miles, I said to myself, "Just turn around and go back.  You don't want to do this.  What's the point in doing something you don't want to do?"  Instead I decided to keep going talking myself into this run mentally all the way.

I am relieved on one hand that I haven't been having trouble with my legs in the past like I used to.  My legs still get aggravated on hills, but it is nowhere near as bad.  However, my achilles have been killing me lately.  My achilles gave me all sorts of trouble when I was training for Rock n Roll San Antonio Marathon.  Lately they haven't been bothering me unless it is really hot.  Last week and this week, however, they've been bothering me.  I can't explain the pain other than to say my achilles are so tight that it feels like they're going to snap right in half and it's painful.  VERY painful.  Running in pain is not fun and I've been running in pain for far too long.  With my achilles, I know what it is and generally if they're aching they'll warm up and eventually quit hurting.  Unfortunately for me, the pain usually doesn't go away until about the 3 mile mark.

I stopped and stretched several times over the next 2 miles or so and that definitely helped, but the pain was still there.  I told myself to just make it to my sister's house (3 miles away) and reevaluate there.

Mile 1:  11:04
Mile 2:  10:52
Mile 3:  10:58

I decided when I reached my sister's lake house (not where she lives), I'd go back and sit by the lake for a minute and give myself a pep talk.

While I was there I was feeling pretty down about having a crappy run, when all I want to do is be able to run pain free.  Everyday, it's a new ailment and trust me I'm not any happier about dealing with it than you are about hearing about it.

I had set out from my mom's house hoping to do the 5 mile loop around the lake 2 times, but I was feeling so crappy I just knew if I did the loop I'd be back at my mom's house at 5 miles and I'd stop. I knew I'd totally bail.  So I made the decision to go as slow as I needed to and head back the way I came.  I decided then I'd get in 6 miles and that would just have to be good enough.  I texted Tracey and told her I was going to bail on my long run and just run 6.

And so I ran...

Mile 4: 11:19
Mile 5: 11:03

The funny thing is around the 5.5 mile mark my legs started to feel better.  My achilles pain was all, but gone and I started feeling better mentally.  I remember thinking to myself, this is the type of running I hoped for when I set out this morning.  Why couldn't it have been this way from the beginning?  While running back, Tracey responded to my text and told me she knew I had 4 more miles in me and NOT to quit at mile 6.  I remember cursing her, saying I really don't have 4 more miles in me.  I had secretly hoped she'd say, just quit if you're not feeling it.

So when I did start feeling it just before the 6 mile mark, I decided Tracey was right (as I knew she was all along).  I did have more in me.  So I ran past my mom's house and continued on.  At this point, however, I was STARVING.  All I had eaten prior to the run was 2 donuts and I hadn't taken in anything other than water on the run.  I really didn't want to stop and grab something at my moms at mile 6.  I was afraid I wouldn't start again.  So I kept going and made the deal with myself to run to the end of the road (1 more mile) and back and I could then quit.

Mile 6: 10:48
Mile 7:  10:53
Mile 8:  10:06

Total: 1:27:08
Average: 10:53

So there you have it.  A very unpretty long run, but I look at it this way.  I ran 7.69 more miles than I had any desire to run today.  I wanted to quit several times, but I didn't give up.  Yes I was 2 miles short of my original goal, but I pushed myself to do waaaay more than I wanted.  And I'm satisfied (even if I bailed).


Gina said...

I sooo needed to read this today. I am training for a half marathon in December and am so tired of my aches and pains. I question if I should continue knees achilles are scary tight as well. Reading your post made me realize that I am not alone....and to push on...

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