Thursday, December 5, 2013

I Suck at CrossFit (but I Keep Going)

Ok here's the truth about CrossFit.  I suck at it.  Ok now everything is relative, but if I compare myself to most other people at my box... well, I suck.

I've been going to CrossFit for over a year.  Now granted I had some setbacks with time off due to my hamstring and due to my surgery, but yeah I've been going for over a year.  I think about how much I should have improved in a year's time and I just don't feel like I've improved at all (maybe a tiny amount).  

Part of my problem is I don't go enough and the explanation for that is not just one simple reason.  It's a combination of time, training for other things and how my body reacts to CrossFit.  I honestly feel like to get better at CrossFit, I need to put more into it.  Duh!  It's just like anything else.  You get out of it what you put into it.  

So today I decided during the WOD to try a kipping pull-up (the WOD, by the way, included 100 pull-ups).  I am really bad at kipping and it really slowed me down, but I tried it.  I didn't do just the same old thing.  I didn't accept good enough because that's what I always do.  I pushed myself to do better.  I wasn't good at it, but I TRIED!

I can't continue to stay in a CrossFit rut because I'm scared to post a slow time or not be the best.  I have to do what's best for ME and decide what I want out of CrossFit.  I know what I want out of CrossFit.  I want to feel strong and powerful.  I don't know what it is about lifting heavy weight and pushing myself to max effort, but it makes me feel STRONG physically and that makes me feel strong mentally.

I'm over trying to be skinny.  I've been working out VERY CONSISTENTLY for 6 years and I haven't gotten skinny yet.  I'm focused on getting strong and fit.  So that means I'll keep going to CrossFit (even if I suck at it) because it makes ME feel good and I do this for me and no one else.

I'm not the fastest runner, I'm not the quickest cyclist, I can barely swim (ok I've gotten better at that) and I certainly am not a CrossFitter extraordinaire, but I have tenacity and determination and I WILL not always suck at CrossFit, but even if I do, I'll keep going.  


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