Friday, June 13, 2014

Are You Happy?

If you're on social media, specifically Facebook, then you've probably seen all these lists of things.  Like.. 12 things you have to do before you die, or 15 incredible life hacks.  Well today I came across  "20 Hard Things You Need to Do to Be Happy"   As I was reading through them, I am pretty darn happy, but probably not why you think.  Let's examine the list shall we?

Because every post needs a picture and I think I look HAPPY in this one

1)  Take small chances every day:  I mean blowing a yellow light and praying all while cringing to look in the rearview mirror and then ahhhhhh no cop!

2)  You need to worry less about what other people think of you:  Most people don't like me, they're judgmental and catty.  Glad they don't care what I think of them either.  ha!

3)  You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving:  Well hello mother of 4 small children (1 more than I) with your perfectly polished hair and Tory Burch sandals and LV bag.  Oh and you just ran a 3:55 marathon.  I didn't notice.

4)  You need to invest in yourself even when no one else does:  This totally means I should have more clothes.

5)  You need to walk the talk:  Do I have to chew gum too?

6)  You need to put your heart into your work:  Can't I put it into something else like say an all you can eat buffet?

7) You need to deliver results even when making excuses is easier:  Well I was going to but.... then my dog ate my paper.... my ankle hurt.... and um I was coming down with a cold.

8) You need to make mistakes and look like a fool sometimes:  I spelled coleslaw coal slaw the other day.  Shit happens.

9)  You need to let go of yesterday's struggles:  Let it go, let it go I am one with the wind and the sky.  Let it go, let it go you'll never see me cry.  Here I stand and here I'll stay. Let the storm raaaaaaage on.  The cold never bothered me anyway.  If you don't know what this is, we can't be friends and if you're not singing it while you're reading it... well then you're just no fun! 

10) You need to refrain from feeling sorry for yourself:  The pouty lip is so effective though. 

11)  You need to toughen up:  Toughen up buttercup.  That phrase is said about 100 times a day in my house.  Seriously, we all need to get it together with this one.  Your kid is not going to die from a scraped knee.  

12)  You need to fight hard for what you believe in:  Go to the mattresses. 

13)  You need to be patient:  I really wish this list was "10 Hard Things You Need to Do to Be Happy"

14) You need to take control of your thoughts before they take control of you:  Seriously, these voices in my head... Oh hey Bob and Shirley what are you doing here? 

15)  You need to be positive:  I'm positive that negative thinking is a part of life.  

16)  You need spend time with the right people:  This one is easy.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  

17)  You need to stand up for yourself:  Until I'm old at which time I'll get one of those fancy lift chairs.  

18)  You forgive everyone who has wronged you:  Hell no, I am never forgiving Chrissy Compton for beating me up in 11th grade.  Rude Chrissy, just rude!  

19)  You need to reach out and help people:  Is this like reaching out and touching someone?  I could take it to another place.  Ok I won't.  You're welcome.  

20)  You need to be present enough to enjoy your journey:  Presents?  Did someone say presents?  

Who in the hell comes up with these lists?  Ok, ok I get it.  Doing all of these things will probably make you happy, but I'm not achieving all 20 and I'm pretty darn happy. I personally think it should have been a list of 2:  Family/Friends and a cup of Joe.  

What 2 things do YOU need to be happy?  


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