Friday, August 14, 2015

Dear Nicholas 2015


Dear Nicholas:

On the occasion of your 12th birthday I write you this letter in hopes of expressing how much you mean to me.  I look at you and I still see my little boy even though I can really see how much you're growing up.  



Of course your passion is hockey and you still eat, sleep and breathe hockey.  I'm so proud of your hard work and efforts in hockey this year and you making the Pens AAA team.  I know it's been a dream of yours for a long time and I'm excited to see your hard work pay off and watch you play on the team this year.  


I am so proud of your work ethic and attitude when it comes to sports.  As with almost everything in life, you aim to please.  Your coaches always say you're a hard worker and they always notice your efforts and that makes me proud.



Sometimes I feel like such a bad mom because I'm hard on you.  I yell more than I should and get on you for the negative things and forget to remind you of all the positive things that make you uniquely you.


I love your sense of humor and your sarcastic jokes.  You've definitely inherited my sense of humor and as you get older it comes out more and more.



I appreciate little things about you.  Like the fact that you like to match your socks to your outfit.  It makes sense to you and it makes me laugh because it makes sense to me too and I think to myself, I created that.  I made a little man that thinks it's normal to have a pair of socks that go with EVERY outfit, but that's ok with me.  It's who you are and I wouldn't want to change it because it makes you, you and you're pretty awesome.


It's hard to be the oldest child.  I think there are so many expectations put on you and so much pressure for you to exceed and to be excellent.  I don't deny that.  I try to be aware of it, but I always want what's best for you.  I want you to give 110% because I know 110% effort will make you succeed in life.  It's not because I'm trying to be mean, it's because I know you can do it.  I think you're special, that's why I push you.  I know you can achieve anything you dream.


You're a foodie.  Oh man you're a foodie.  Not as in you love to try new and exotic foods, just in that you LOVE food.  If I had one penny for every time I heard, "I'm staaaaaaarvin," I could certainly be a millionaire by now.  I guess you come by it honestly.  Here's to youth's metabolism.  May it stay with you always.



It's so hard to express a mother's love to her son.  It's not all the things I described above really.  Sure you're amazing.  You're smart, you're handsome, you're athletic, you're ambitious, you're goal-oriented, you're prideful, you're a million wonderful things.  Even without all those things, my love would never wane.


You see a mother's love is not conditional.  It doesn't depend on the number of As you get on your report card or the number of goals you score in a hockey game.  It's looking in your eyes and feeling a love so deep it hurts.  It's hurting when you hurt.  It's crying when you cry.  It's laughing when you smile.  It's creating joy in your heart because it's greater than my own happiness.  It's looking into your eyes and knowing, you're perfect.  You're you and nothing will ever change my love for you.  


You're 12!  12!  I always say, you taught me how to love 12 years ago, and my heart has overflown with it every since.


 Happy birthday my sweet young man.

With All my Love,

Mom




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