Thursday, March 17, 2016

In the Backyard with a Baseball Bat

This picture stirred up all kinds of emotion in me today.  This pic was taken in 2011, Ella was 6.   I remember this day very clearly.  The boys were playing baseball in the backyard and Ella wanted to play too.  Never mind that she was decked out in her plaid skirt and pearl necklace shirt.  It didn't matter, she threw on the UA baseball cap and was ready to bat.  This story doesn't end with how wonderful she was even in a skirt.  No as I recall she was quite terrible.  Ha!  

That's not what I wanted to talk about, however.  What I wanted to say was I miss these days terribly. I think I took them slightly for granted.  I've always been so thankful for all the time I got to spend with my kids, but I don't think I realized that my days of playing in the backyard after school were so numbered. 

Every day there is somewhere to go. Someplace to be.  Everyone is involved in activities and I definitely wouldn't have it any other way.  A free evening is a luxury and not something we get often.  I'm not alone.  Everyone I know is in the same rat race.  It's just how life is these days I think.  

So I look at that tiny smile looking up behind the big brim and it brings me back to simpler days and I miss them.  Then I feel badly for not embracing the time I'm in.  I spend a LOT of time missing my babies and I'm not exactly sure why.  Sure they were cute and sweet, but if I'm being honest they still are.  

Ella is so extremely loving.  It's my job to build her up, make her feel good about herself and teach her all the things.  Yet every day she amazes me with her love and compassion.  When she looks at me and tells me she loves me, I believe it and I feel it in my soul.  Out of the blue she'll tell me how beautiful I am and look at me with adoring eyes.  I wonder what I did to get so lucky.  For her to love me so much.  How did she learn to be this amazing little person?   

Then I realize, it's the bond we share and one that started long ago and probably in a pearl necklace in the backyard with a baseball bat.  


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